I am Sisyphus

Why is it I always plan to do so much work over the break, but never actually accomplish it? I have grand plans of how I will spend the time, for which I pack up the necessary materials from my classroom and haul them to my car. My husband watches as I drag it all into the house, filling the formerly empty spaces of my small dining room-turned office. My once easy to move about work space becomes a maze of books, binders, bags and crates holding all the materials I could possibly need (but never realistically get to in the time I will have at home).

This is the curse of the teacher. We roll our boulders uphill, planning (or preparing to plan), only to see the end of the break arrive and watch as our good intentions roll down hill. 

I am alone, in my plight? I doubt it... although I think others may get more done than I do. Generally hard working teachers see these breaks as a time to catch up, get ahead, plan better, and improve our craft. It is a small window of opportunity when we do not have to teach, grade, make parent phone calls, address student concerns, or attend meetings. We can focus on the one singular goal of preparation uninterrupted by normal workday demands.

Unfortunately, this is when I tend to get lost in the high-level ideas and get little of the practical day-to-day work done. I think to myself "Now I have the time to rethink things, improve or change since I do not have a lesson to teach tomorrow." So instead of focusing and getting things done that will get me ahead for the semester, I think of how I can make changes to the fundamental methods of my teaching practices.

Perfection is one of my character defects. I fear to begin a task until I have all the details settled. This is particularly true of teaching. I know there are things I could be doing better, so instead of wasting time preparing lessons in accordance with my previous (lesser) methods, it seems better to decide how I would like to change and plan to that end. The issue is, there is always something to be improved... and there are so many ways to approach the task how can I be sure I have chosen the one right way?

As I read the above paragraph I realize how silly it sounds. There cannot possibly be one right way because the variety of students we serve changes not only from year to year, but from class to class during the day. All I can do is strive to be the best I can with the information I have at the moment. So I find myself at the end of winter break. Second semester starts tomorrow, and with it the papers to grade, lessons to teach and school business to handle. That being said, I guess I'd better get to work!